One last thing before we start after Him. There's no way in this world you'll ever get Him back if you two aren't speaking. Don't let your own injured ego (or His) stand in the way of you two talking again. Just swallow your embarrassment and/or anger. If He won't break the silent ice, then you do it. If there's no oth!3r way, then go right up to Him and start talking (about any everyday thing) just like nothing happened. Don't hate, communicate! And once you've got the words flowing again, you're ready to really start operating!

1 IF YOU BROKE UP BECAUSE OF MONEY

Money, whether he (or you) has a lot of it, (or too little of it) can cause all kinds of problems in your Love Life. If a guy has lots of bread (especially if his family is rich and yours isn't!) one particular kind of hang-up can result. Because your folks haven't been able to give you all the beautiful clothes and jewelry and stuff that his folks are used to seeing girls have, they may look down on you. They may also tell Him that you're not good enough for Him. This may make Him feel embarrassed when he brings you home or to his friends parties. You sense the embarrassment, resent it, and it causes trouble between you. This same thing can happen when you have the money and He hasn't, only then, because of guys' more delicate egos, it's much worse. He may not even be able to afford a car. And He won't use your car. He's too proud. (Guys are like that!) So you have to double-date or take the bus. This humiliates you, especially in front of your girlfriends, and you get uptight with Him because of it. So no wonder you finally lose patience and fight.

You've got to make Him understand that there are many great things in this world that money can buy, but Love, True Love, is not one of them. Make Him see that you don't care that your family has more money than His has. You believe that He'll either have a lot of money someday Himself, or, if He doesn't care about that, neither do you. It's your happiness together, whether it's in a mansion or a cozy little cottage in the country that counts with you. Let Him see that you know money trips are for the Vanilla Straight Chicks. When you make Him really believe you, you'll have Him back.

He went for another girl's Love Game and got trapped in her Grab Bag. You found out about it and broke up with Him. But did you really stop to figure out why He did it? There could be many other reasons than the one you believe. Could be she's an old girlfriend who's decided she wants Him back. She knows the ways to really get to His head and freak Him out. He probably could have stood up against her if He'd been able to get you to listen to and advise Him. Let him know you're ready to listen now. Or maybe she's the kind of a chick that's a lot easier physically than you are, and she got her fangs...into Him that way. He's probably tired of her already and realizes how stupid He was. He probably respects you even more now, too. But you've given Him a life sentence and won't talk to Him.

Give Him another chance by talking to Him. If He's wised up, take Him back. (But watch Him for awhile, anyway!)

Then again, it just could be this new girl is a Real Foxy Lady like you are, with a very together Love Game and a beautiful Battle Plan. How could we expect any guy to resist that? After all, they're only guys, right? Maybe you saw how really with-it she is, you got panicked at the thought of such rough competition, and dumped Him before He could dump you. That could have made Him lose respect for you (He thinks you're chicken!) or maybe it made Him think you really didn't care enough about Him to fight her. Let Him know now that you're not afraid of her. Show Him he's worth whatever it takes to keep Him. And start out" foxing her every chance you get. Make those chances by sticking to Him like glue. Fight! And watch him come running back!

The worst blow to your pride of all, though, comes when some Vanilla Straight Chick wins Him away from you. She's clean cut and as sweet as a sister to Him. This can happen to a guy especially if He's been brought up by really strict parents. You may have scared the poor boy the last time you were out together at the drive-in movie, so He had to run to, her to ease His guilty conscience. Thank Goodness, this kind of a scene doesn't usually last very long. This straight chick is really His Mother in disguise, and He'll get tired of her fast. The question is, will you want a sissy like this back at all? If you think He can be salvaged, though, make Him see that He's a big boy now and that Love is nothing to be afraid of or uptight about. And take Him right back to that drive-in theatre!

3 IF THAT SOMEONE ELSE WAS ANOTHER GUY

But maybe you were the one who wandered. A beautiful new Fox came into your life one day and though you tried, you just couldn't resist. As a Foxy Lady, it's your right to do anything you want to with your life. But when your current guy finds out, you Rave to realize He just might break up with you over it.

So, the new dude dropped his "E" and turned out to be a "dud." Or, going with him made you realize that the Guy you lost because of him was really the One for you after all. It just took a little comparing to make you appreciate Him.

Don't ever admit this in so many words, but keep it in mind as you show Him how much more you dig and appreciate Him now. Let Him find out, maybe from a girlfriend, that you've completely broken off with that other cat. He'll start getting the message from what you do but it won't lessen His respect for you by hearing you say that you made a mistake. Be extra sweet to Him and watch Him forgive you...and come right back!

Sometimes a guy who has a lot of pride will break up with you if something has happened to Him that defeated Him, shot Him down some way, or disgraced Him. He may have failed to make a team at school that He tried out for, and He can't admit it to you. He might have lost his job, which means He won't have any money to take you out with. Or He may have been grounded by His folks and is ashamed to tell you so. He thinks that He's being really noble and unselfish, and breaking up for your sake.

Make Him see that He's really on a great big ego-trip. It's not you He's thinking of at all. If He was, He wouldn't break your heart this way. It's just His precious (and false) pride. Make Him understand that it's Him as a person you care about, that the only thing He can do wrong with you is to do wrong to you. Once He really sees this, and doesn't feel like a loser in your eyes anymore, you'll have him back.

It could have been your girl friend who did it. Or a friend of His. It's called poisoning lovers' minds against each other. Sometimes a friend will do this to either a guy or a girl because the friend is so jealous of the beautiful Love Scene the couple has going. The friend feels like he or she's going to be left behind, so the false rumors and stories of Him (or you!) being untrue start coming down. Before long He begins to listen to the lies and half-truths, and so the break-up happens. Parents, too, can sometimes cause this, and so can sisters and brothers. People get jealous for the strangest reasons, and when they do, they just have to start causing trouble. But when the jealous mind-poisoners win, it's usually the fault of the couple themselves. They don't really trust each other. As a matter of fact, when a couple breaks up over this kind of thing, it usually means they're actually suspicious of, or insecure in their love for each other.

Make Him see that you know now that lack of trust is what really broke you up. Show Him that ihis break-up has made you realize that you both can be happy if you'll just trust each other and not listen to anything anyone else says.' Prove it by hiding most of the jealousy you feel from now on. But remember, show just a little jealousy once in awhile to let Him know you still care. Guys love that! And once they're back, it keeps them there.

6 IF YOU BROKE UP BECAUSE YOU WERE JUST TIRED OF HIM (or he was of you)

Sometimes people just simply get tired of each other. For some reason you wake up one morning and something inside tells you you're all of a sudden not looking forward to seeing the guy you've been spending all your time with. The sound of his voice (that you used to love so much!) now just bugs you. The way he acts (that you once dug so much) now only irritates you. And the thought of kissing him or even holding his hand...retch! Forget it! You'll hide these feelings from him at first, until you see whether they're going to last or if it's just a mood. But they don't go away, and before long every little thing he says or does makes you want to pick a fight with him. And every minute with him now makes you more and more bored. Face it, you're tired of him, and it's over.

All this can happen in a guy's mind, too, about you. But a guy will feel it differently at first. You can spot it pretty fast if you know what to look for, because the first thing a guy feels when he's getting tired of you is...he doesn't want to touch or kiss you. He's tired of you physically, in every way. And it can be just as strong as the incredible, irresistible wanting he felt for you before. Like you, he'll be confused by these feelings, at first, so he'll try to hide them from you. But you'll be able to spot this starting to happen when he doesn't look into your eyes as much as he used to. Or He's distracted by other things when you talk to Him. He won't hold your hand as much as he used to, and after awhile, he won't want to at all. Those marvelous kisses of the past now become quick pecks. And when the places he wants to go on dates are spots where it's certain you two won't get a chance to be alone, the handwriting is on the wall. He's tired of you 'and it's over.

There are as many answers to this mystery as there are individual people who get involved with each other. But a few general reasons may be of help in understanding what to think and what to do about it when it happens to you.

There are two reasons that a guy and a girl get interested in each other. One is Real Love. The other can best be compared to what happens when wild animals get together for the mating season. Nature tells them it's time to mate. They then feel desire for mating, and they do. With animals, it's usually a seasonal thing, like in the springtime. With human beings, this happens all year. As a matter of fact, some people who study this subject believe that mating is the only reason guys and girls get together. They're wrong about that, but not completely wrong.

When the wild animals' mating time is over, they get tired of each other and split up. This is the natural instinct of human beings, too. They get their fill of each other, get tired of each other, and break up...unless Real Love makes their mating scene into something better and longer-lasting. What's Real Love? No one can tell you completely. But it's involved with being real Pals and Friends as well as being Lovers. It's respecting and loving the mind and values of the other person just as much or more than their body and the way they look. It's digging them so much that you just can't be happy without each other. But above all, it's Feeling, the way you really feel about each other. It's liking Him more than you do anyone, girl or guy. And it's a magic that has a certain something that makes it last and last, sometimes all your life.

Some people not only need the love they get from their Lover, they need the security of knowing they have someone (anyone), too. And sometimes they'll put up with any unhappiness as long as they can still tell themselves they have that security, that they are not alone.

The trouble begins when the mating season for one person is over before it's over for both. If there's no Real Love for either one, then they'll break up fast. If Real Love is there for only one person, they'll break up right away, too, but that's when somebody gets hurt. If both have Real, Love, they'll find a way to stay together even though their mating season seems to be over and Nature wants to make them break up. That's when Real Love proves itself. Real Love is stronger than Nature and her mating seasons.

1. Am I tired of Him? Is it really over for me?

2. Do I really want Him or do I just want the security of having someone, anyone?

3. Do I really feel Real Love for Him?

4. Is He really tired of me? Is it over for Him?

5. Is it Real Love or was it just a mating season between us?